How I Found Love at the Gym

Anyone who follows my Instagram account (@coachjolinda) knows that I'm a huge proponent of exercise.  To tell you the truth, though, this is the first time in my life that I actually enjoy going to the gym. When I was a girl, I was constantly teased in gym class for my lack of athletic ability and I sometimes think that's why I've always been hesitant about exercising in public. Over the last year, I've really been working on overcoming my fears and challenging the false perceptions that I've placed upon myself, so when the opportunity arose to join a new gym a few months ago just five minutes away from where I live, I jumped at the opportunity. Since my first day, I have become a gym convert, making my workouts a priority and actually looking forward to them with anticipation.  What's brought about this change? My gym? My trainer? Or could it be something bigger?

Getting Strong in Body Pump

The first day I went to my new gym, I entered with the idea that I would do the elliptical or the treadmill for half an hour and then return home. Upon arriving, however, I realized that Body Pump was scheduled to start in ten minutes and that I had the chance to do something more interesting than zone out to my iTunes playlist. Despite feeling nervous, I walked up to the instructor and told him that it was my first day at the gym and that I wasn't sure where to start.  He showed me the equipment I would need and made sure that I was comfortable with everything before we began.

I completed the first class without any weights, just the bar itself to concentrate on my form.  From the beginning, the instructor, who later introduced himself as Marc, made me feel welcome and that gave me the little push I needed to keep coming back.  Over the next several weeks, I continued adding more and more weight and pushing myself through every set.  If I could finish comfortably, I knew I wasn't doing enough and that I was actually stronger than I had originally thought.  The biggest benefit of strength training for me has been that feeling of power that you get from exceeding your limits and proving to yourself just how much you can take.  The stronger I am physically, the more I can handle emotionally. Most days, I'm grateful to have arrived at the cool down, but I'm almost always disappointed that the time has passed by so quickly.

The reminder I see on my barbell at the start of every Body Pump class.

Shaking It in Zumba

I had always wanted to try Zumba, and I knew if Marc could make Body Pump fun, then his Zumba class would really feel like a party.  The following Friday, I arrived at Zumba five minutes before the start time and it was packed.  Not wanting to embarrass myself, I found a space in the back corner where no one would notice if I made a fool of myself.  Big mistake!  First of all, as much as you think so, nobody actually cares if you don't get the steps right, and second of all, nobody notices because they're all too busy trying to follow along themselves.  Most importantly, because it was so crowded, I couldn't see Marc's feet which made it impossible to keep up and get the most out of my workout.

The next class, I made a point to arrive early and secure a spot directly in front of him.  This put me at center stage as well, but I knew it was where I had to be.  By my fourth class, I was starting to get the hang of it, and when Marc asked for someone to join him for one of the songs, I surprised myself by raising my hand.  He asked me if I remembered all the steps which of course I didn't but no one else had volunteered, so I was his first, last, and only option.  Ten years ago, offering myself up as some kind of model in a dance class, would have been terrifying, but now I do my best to push fear aside and put what other people may think of me out of my mind.  I knew that, even if I made mistakes, it was all part of the learning process and striving for perfection isn't nearly as interesting as leaving room for improvement.

Halfway through the song, I lost myself in the steps and let my body take the lead as I moved to the music.  At one point, I started laughing at myself because I've always been a bit of a stiff dancer and all of a sudden, here I was shaking it to Luis Fonsi and Despacito.  As I returned to the dance floor, everyone clapped and I was proud of myself for taking a risk and trying something new.  The next song was one of my favorites, My Way by Calvin Harris.  Listening to the lyrics, "You were the one thing in my way," all I could think of were those times in my life when I had been the one who had gotten in my own way.  How many times do we let our limiting beliefs have the final word over our authentic selves?

A trainer and gym buddies who motivate you to keep coming back make all the difference.

Stretching Myself Further in Body Balance

One day after Body Pump, Marc told us that he would be giving the Body Balance class directly after and encouraged us all to stay if we wanted some time to stretch and relax.  It had been years since I had done any kind of yoga, much less an actual class, and the thought of how rigid I would be made me want to go running for the women's locker room.  I considered all of the excuses that I could give, but in the end I agreed to stay. I was enjoying Body Pump and Zumba so much, at that point it didn't make sense for me to deny my body of something it had been begging me to do for a long time.

I won't lie, my first Body Balance class was challenging, and at moments I felt like crying.  In my twenties, I was an avid yogi, waking up every morning at one point to do an hour of asthanga before work.  In addition to my lack of flexibility, I have always struggled with balancing on my left side and being able to do a beautiful tree pose on the right, while barely being able to raise my foot on the left has always been a source of embarrassment. The thing is, wherever you are is where you need to start and refusing to stretch myself, whether it be in Body Balance or any other challenging circumstance is no longer an acceptable choice.

At the end of the class, Marc made me promise to come back the following week and I offered my hand to shake on it and seal the deal.  The promise I made that day was really to myself as much as it was to anyone else.  I'm finally at a place in my life where I make exercise a priority because I know that it's what my body deserves. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I actually look forward to going to the gym five days a week.

Trees come in all different shapes and sizes.

So what's changed?

When I first moved to Barcelona nine years ago, I belonged to one of the best gyms in the city.  I hardly ever went.  I always made an excuse for why I couldn't go.  So what's so different now?  I've fallen in love. No, not with my twenty-three-year old trainer, but with myself!  My level of self-love has skyrocketed in the past year, and that's the love that keeps me going back for my workouts every time.

I love my body as it is.

I no longer work out in the hopes of losing weight or transforming my physique.  If that happens, then fine, but I'm no longer tied to the results of my workout sessions.  This means that I can be fully present in the experience without being weighed down by expectations and disappointments that result in not having them fulfilled.

I don't let my fear of what other people think determine my actions.

For years, I was afraid of not doing everything "just right," of not being the best from the beginning, of other people's judgement and ridicule.  The fact is that no one could have been as hard on me as I was on myself, and at the end of the day a person who criticizes you is really just making up for their own insecurities.

I love the way it makes me feel.

In the past, going to the gym was a punishment for eating too much or gaining weight. Now it's a reward I give myself.  There are few things that give me such an amazing rush of strength and positive energy every. single. time.  Also, I will take being strong over being skinny any day and that's the transformation that is most exciting for me now.

I have accountability and support.

It's a lot easier to show up to the gym when you know someone is expecting you.  I'm fortunate enough to have a trainer who goes out of his way to make everyone feel like they matter.  I've also made a number of "gym buddies" that I look forward to seeing before or after class.  Never underestimate the power of connection.

Outside the women's locker room.  I'll never be the woman pictured behind me, and that's more than okay.

What's your relationship to the gym?  Do you enjoy working out?  If not, what do you think is your biggest obstacle to making exercise part of your regular routine?

I hope this article has inspired you to think of your own relationship with physical activity.  I'll be discussing the importance of exercise in terms of fertility in an upcoming article, so stay tuned if you'd like to learn how loving your workout has benefits for you too!